Forever
by Shesbeenlying
Summary: She could feel his pain. She could feel herself letting go.


_Forever_

Rating: PG-PG-13ish.

Summary: She can feel his pain, she could feel herself letting go.

Author's Note: This song is set to Coldplay's fix you, it's the "theme" of this story, comments/thoughts/reviews are much appericated. Thank you.

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**for·ev·er-**(fôr-vr, fr-)  
_adv._For everlasting time; eternally. 

2.Forever, for always.

* * *

Everything around her was dark, little lights like tiny white snowflakes fell gently around her. She knew part of her was dying, she could feel that. She could feel hope, she could feel love, gracing her children part of heart broke as she looked into the eyes of the most beautiful creatures she had ever seen.

She wanted to tell them she was sorry, she wanted to tell them it wasn't supposed to be like this, she whispered to them to be strong. She knew they would. She wanted to stay with them, but she just couldn't. Her worldly body was broken, she knew they were coming into a very dark world. Light in darkness.

She laughed to herself. She had brought that darkness, but she had somehow knew she would bring the light. Salvation. They were the salvation. Drifting further she felt his pain, all around her the snowflakes drifted, lights everywhere. She could feel his pain. Screaming out she could feel it so much.

His pain broke her heart even more. She knew part of that was killing her. She knew they were screaming out in simultaneously. She was screaming into the snowflakes now, into the dark world she found herself in the further she drifted. Every part of her was burning, she couldn't breathe either. Screaming out again, everyone assumed the pain she felt was her own. She knew the bright lights of the room where getting further further away. She also knew this much. She was letting go.

_When you try your best and don't succeed_

_When you get what you want but not what you need _

_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep_

_When the tears come streaming down your face._

_When you lose something you can't replace. _

_When you love someone but it goes to waste_

_Could it be worse?_

She held her hand out. Screaming out more, she tried to feel him somewhere. Somewhere in the darkness. Turning in fast circles all around her but all she could see was darkness, and the snowflakes everywhere. Falling gently.

"We're losing her!"

She heard a voice call out.

"Somebody get some help!"

She heard another more familiar one cry out frantically. She knew it was too late, and she didn't want to hang on. "Take care of them." She whispered to one of her oldest friends. She watched him, and she knew he could hear her, from wherever she was. The kind faced man whose face had aged too much, and whose eyes now carried a broken sorrow burned with the imagery he had seen in the last six hours.

Like he could still see his brother being burned alive in front of him. Losing both of them, as calm as it seemed, she could feel the sorrow pouring out of him. She was sorry for him too. But mostly as she felt herself completely let go, she glimpsed once more at her children. Part of her knew it wasn't for the last time, wherever she was going she knew she would always be with them. But not now, not yet, now she was filled with pain and cried out even louder. For the last seconds of her life, she could feel every part of his pain. Letting go completely she whispered the last bit of truth she could feel. She had to.

_"…still good in him."_

Watching herself she found herself spinning now. The snowflakes still falling and she knew whatever was left hanging onto her body was left. She didn't know what the afterlife was like, or even what she believed but all she found now was herself in the same place, but there was no longer any pain.

That's the first thing she noticed. The second thing she noticed, as she watched her funeral, was that time ceased to exist. Lights lit up all over the darkened Naboo as people lined in her funeral procession. She reached out to them, she could feel the darkness creeping over the world she had left. It spread all over. But one thing kept her tied down, kept her tied to her body and she knew, she knew it was him. Every part of her was still tied down to _life_, because of him.

Part of her had figured out that was why she was in this limbo. She had always heard that restless spirits remained ghosts, remained haunted, until something freed them. Something interrupted her thoughts as she watched her body, clinging onto his japor pedant, entertwined in her fingers delicately, holding on. She was still, holding on.

"Padme."

_Tears stream down your face_

_When you lose something you cannot replace_

_Tears stream down your face_

_I promise you I will learn from your mistakes_

She breathed and across the snowflakes she saw her family, the parts of her family who had died. Her grandfather, her niece who had died of illnesses, her beloved grandmother, everyone who she had loved and cared for. Behind them she saw friends who had died during the war, the orphan children she had helped as a child, her dearest childhood best friend Leleja. They all called for her. "Padme." They said. Smiling and nodding they welcomed her. She knew they wanted her with them. Her grandmother came close to her, her dearest, Winama. She touched her cheek and whispered to her.

She knew they were waiting. She knew they wanted her to go with them. She knew hanging on would leave her here, in this sad, but peaceful place. But she also knew she could not let go.

_High up above or down below_

_When you're too in love to let it go_

_But if you never try you'll never know _

_Just what your worth_

"I can't." She whispered back to them. "I can't." She held her head, and felt for him again. She could feel the good, she could feel her Ani, she could feel everything. She held her head high and they knew the answer.

They all sadly backed away back into the shadows, knowing they couldn't be with her until she had let go. Her, knowing she could not let go.

"I'll wait for him. I'll wait here for him, forever if I have to."

Knowing he would come, someday. She had to fix him, guide him, wait for him. Spinning circles all alone in the falling snowflakes she would stay for him, she would give it all up, again, just to guide him home.

_Lights will guide you home_

_And ignite your bones_

_And I will try, to fix you_


End file.
